How to Write a Letter to Santa With Your Kids (and Plan the Gifts Without the Chaos)

Last year's Christmas list lived in five places. A crayon letter stuck to the fridge. A screenshot from Grandma asking "what do they want?". A note on your phone that just says "skates??". And whatever your youngest whispered to the Santa at the shopping centre, which nobody wrote down. On 20 December you found out two people had bought the same dinosaur.

The letter to Santa is the fun part. The mess comes after, when wishes turn into actual presents. Here's a way to do both in one go.

Pick a "post to Santa" date, let each child write the letter in their own words starting with what they're proud of, keep the list short with one starred favourite, then decide yes, maybe or not this year in private and tell every gift-giver what they're buying.

We'll follow one family the whole way: the Bennetts. Ava is 7, Leo is 4 and Zara is 10. Their budgets are $150, $100 and $150, and the letters go to the North Pole on 1 December.

1. Pick a "post to Santa" date

The letter is more useful to you the earlier it arrives. Early November gives you time to see the wishes before the shops get busy and before anything sells out.

The Bennetts told the kids on a Saturday in November that the North Pole post closes on 1 December. That deadline did all the nagging for them.

2. Let them write it in their own words

A letter that sounds like your child is worth more than a neat one. How much they do themselves depends on age.

Leo, at 4, tapped his answers on a phone while Ava read them out. Zara typed hers without help and asked for privacy, which is a good sign she takes it seriously.

3. Start with what they're proud of

If the first line is "I want", the whole letter turns into a shopping list. Start with "This year I'm proud that..." instead. It makes the letter about them, and it gives Santa something real to reply to.

Ava wrote that she helped at home, tried hard at school and learned to ride her bike. Leo was proud of sharing his toys and being brave at the dentist. Those lines went straight into Santa's replies later.

4. Keep the list short and star one favourite

Ask for up to five wishes, then ask: "If Santa could only bring one, which one?" Put a star next to it. The star tells you where to spend first. It also tells you which wish matters if the others don't happen.

Ava's list had five things, including "a real horse". Her star went on an art set. That art set became the gift from Santa. The horse stayed on the list for laughs.

5. Add a wish for someone else and a question for Santa

Two small questions make the letter feel like a letter. "Is there a wish for someone else?" gets lovely answers. Ava wished for Grandpa's knee to get better. Zara wished for every kid to have a present. Then "Do you have a question for Santa?" gives the reply something to answer. Expect "How do the reindeer fly?" at least once.

6. Decide privately: yes, maybe or not this year

This is the grown-up part, and kids shouldn't see it. Go through each wish and give it one of three labels, a giver and a rough cost. Then add it up against the budget for that child.

The Bennetts planned $260 of a $400 budget, with $60 of "maybes" (a onesie and headphones) to decide on later. Keeping maybes separate stops them quietly eating the budget.

7. Tell every gift-giver what they're buying

Doubled-up presents happen when everyone works from the same wish list but nobody says who's getting what. So send two things. First, the wish list itself, without prices, to anyone who asks "what do they want?". Second, each giver's own short list: Grandma and Grandpa got the horse book and Zara's next book in her series. Aunt Lina got the bubble machine.

Tick things off as they're bought and wrapped. By mid December you should be able to see at a glance what's still missing.

8. Write Santa's reply

A reply is what makes the letter worth writing. Keep it short and specific. Five things make it feel real:

1. Their name and age, so it's clearly theirs.
2. One thing they did this year that made you proud, in your words.
3. Their starred wish, mentioned but not promised.
4. A gentle answer to their question. "That's part of the Christmas magic" covers most of them.
5. A P.S. from a reindeer or an elf.

For Leo, at 4, the reply was eight short lines. For Zara, at 10, it was a little more grown-up and asked her to help keep the magic going for her brother and sister.

Mistakes to avoid

• Writing the letter in mid December, when the shops are empty and the budget's gone.
• Starting with "I want". Start with what they're proud of.
• Promising the starred wish in Santa's reply before you've bought it.
• Sharing a wish list with prices on it.
• Telling grandparents "anything on the list" without saying who's getting what.
• Using the same reply for every child. Kids compare.

Want all of this done for you?

I made Letter to Santa & Wish List Maker for exactly this. Your kids write their letter on your phone with big buttons and no prices. You mark yes, maybe or not this year and who's buying, and the budgets add themselves up. It fills in Santa's reply by name, which you can edit, plus a Nice List certificate, a North Pole envelope and "From Santa" tags. $3.95, one time, works on any phone.

See Letter to Santa

Questions people ask